I attended Mountain Project three times during my involvement with Campus Outreach at Tennessee Technological University. It is difficult to see the sin that rules you while being a part of the fish pond. I graduated in 2012 and five years later I realize how much of a glory thief I was during those years. This is not to say that I am never a glory thief now but I wanted the approval of man so much I never let my guard down. I wanted to be needed and in the end I wanted it to satisfy my need for people to say "look at her, she is awesome!"

This desire was never quenched. It kept me from being honest with those who led me and the ones I was discipling. I hid the sin of my heart in fear that others would see me as a failure. I didn't really care if people saw Jesus, I just wanted to be seen. 

Recently God's self-sufficiency has been his characteristic that has rocked my world. Jen Wilkin writes in None Like Him: 10 Ways God Is Different from Us "We need Him every hour, but He needs us not at all." How does that make you feel? It made me feel heart broken. If He doesn't need me then what is the point of anything in the Christian walk? Why have I been orchestrating my life around the word of God if He doesn't need me?

To be honest this entire concept propelled me into an anxiety attack. A little update on my current situation: I am moving to teach at an International Christian School in Hong Kong. I have given away 95% of my possessions and am moving across the world as a single woman. He doesn't need me? Then why am I even doing this craziness? 

Our Father is quick to comfort us with the Holy Spirit and this is what He said:

I AM WORTHY. 

That was all it took to restore my confidence, He is worthy. We do not do anything because we are needed. It is freeing to know that we are not needed but He has given us worth & value through paying the price with the sacrificial death of His Son. We are valued because He has given us worth and we do not need to work for our value by being needed in His kingdom. We do it out of an overflow of love for Him.

Wilkin also says,

"... we were not created to be self-sufficient. Nor were we recreated in Christ to be so. Sanctification is the process of learning increasing dependence, not autonomy."

May you increase in your dependence on God this summer. This might be through the brokenness of your sin or stepping out of the realm of your fear to ask a stranger about their life. You are NOT needed but you are LOVED by the creator of this world. He has given you all your worth and value needed in this life. So, you can walk in confidence to serve Him because He is worthy of all your honor, praise, and worship. This has freed me as I leave America, and I am not going for my own glory. Now I get to love and serve my Father out of a heart that loves Him. I pray that as you finish this summer and return to the campus that your hearts would be free to love and serve Him because of the value He has given you. You are a child of God and you get to show others how worthy He is of their worship.

"The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything."

{Acts 17: 24-25}

 Emily graduated from TTU in 2012 and is now moving to Hong Kong to teach at an International Christian School. Emily loves to read and write about God. Sometimes you might catch her telling a corny joke. 

Emily graduated from TTU in 2012 and is now moving to Hong Kong to teach at an International Christian School. Emily loves to read and write about God. Sometimes you might catch her telling a corny joke. 

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